The Heart of a Girl

Inside every woman is the heart of a girl and inside every man is the heart of a boy, both desiring to re-emerge.  The following is my wife’s perspective of a girl’s heart, which gives me a greater understanding and appreciation for who she is.  Pat Ralston

Girls want nothing more than to just feel pretty! 

The picture (left) of our granddaughter, Keely, is a perfect illustration of the joy a girl feels when she wears that special dress that makes her feel exactly that and it’s a bonus if it twirls.  Just look at the delight on her face!  When she was nine years old, my husband, Pat, asked her to describe the heart of a girl, to which she immediately responded, “A girl is passionate, loving, curious, strong, artistic, confident, and a servant.”  That is quite a mature observation, especially at such a young age.  In contrast, I personally struggled when Pat then asked me to describe the heart of a girl.  It took me several attempts over a few days before I could put together an opinion that didn’t involve my own sensitivities that resulted from all my wounds and hurts from the past.  When our hearts have been injured and not protected, we lose sight of who God meant us to be and begin to assume an identity rooted in our wounds.  It is revealing that a 9-year-old girl knows her pure heart better than an adult woman who has been influenced by the world.  

I also asked a few lady friends to describe the heart of a girl, and sadly, all of them were stumped and could not really come up with an answer.  As they started to express a thought, I could see the reflection on their faces that said, “No, that’s not me now.”  I interpreted this to mean, “If I say what my heart truly is, then I need to acknowledge that I have lost my innocent girl’s heart.”  Ladies, have YOU lost the desires of that little girl’s heart?

As little girls we wanted to enjoy all the adventures of life and experience the magnitude of what the world had for us.  We could easily go from playing a rowdy game of touch football in the neighbor’s yard to choreographing a dance routine begging anyone to watch.  Then, there was the immense delight of gathering Barbies to create and act out numerous scenarios based on the outfits we dressed and redressed them in.  Of course, we were also the voices of the Barbies, as we changed our voice to represent each doll’s personality.

Our young imaginations were our only limitation as we would dream about all the wonderful things we would do with our lives, such as how our wedding would look and how our future husband would gaze at us with adoring eyes, while hearing Hallmark music playing in the background.  Though my home life may not have been storybook material, my imagination, dreams, and desires were working in full measure as I created the perfectly loving place in my heart.

I remember how very important and adventurous I felt when my mom would trust me to ride my bike to the store to pick up a thing or two.  The store was less than a half mile away, but the adventure was arriving safely, while dodging traffic on Highway 50 on Orchard Mesa.  The fact that I was able to perform and complete this task with success was a true testament of my courage, athleticism, and imagination as I would peddle as fast as I could down the shoulder of the road prepared to outrun any vehicle that came along.

When raising our four children, Pat and I have often reflected how our three boys were easier to raise than our one daughter and it wasn’t until I became a grandma that I truly understood what the differences were.  In my opinion, I felt the boys took A LOT of effort because EVERY thing they did or said involved action, sound, and activity.  Putting the dishes away involved numerous battle scenes and sounds with butterknives and plates.  I often threatened the boys would have to replace every dish they broke as they stacked each dish on the shelf with definitive aggression.  Everything was loud!  Pat still is!

Whereas everything our daughter said or did involved EMOTION, beginning around the age of nine.  I remember frequently feeling exhausted, but at the time I just didn’t know why.  It seemed that every conversation centered around how she “felt”, as her emotions would escalate if my reactions weren’t responsive enough.  Since girls think in emotional terms, we see things from the perspective of how we feel---we just want to be noticed, to feel pretty, and to be loved and adored. 

I wasn’t raised around girly girls and never participated in tea parties with friends, but I picture the heart of a girl to be like that of a beautiful china tea set; it’s fun to play with, it’s pretty, it has purpose, it’s useful, it’s special, its breakable, and it is treasured.  The heart of a girl is a precious and innocent thing and it requires tender loving care for it to work how God intended.  Treasure that innocent heart that God brought you into the world with and make it part of your identity in Christ.

Through God, I have rediscovered the heart of a girl in me and she is nurturing, courageous, creative, loving, passionate, a servant, trustworthy, adventurous, faithful, imaginative, and strong, yet vulnerable.

Chrisy Ralston

Warrior at Heart Ministry

10/27/23

Psalm 46:5 - “God is within her; she will not fail.”